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Q: Gwendy Peterson is a twelve-year-old girl who lives with her parents in Castle Rock, Maine.
During the summer break of 1974, she makes a point of running up the 305-step cliffside stairs all the way up to the top every day, bent on losing weight.
One day, on the top of the stairs, where the Castle View Recreational Park is, she encounters a stranger in dark clothes and a black hat.
The man offers to give her the box in the title.Even though at first Gwendy tires to decline, but accepts it finally, and from then on, Gwendy's life begins to change entirely.  sembra naturale?
A: Gwendy Peterson is a twelve-year-old girl who lives with her parents in Castle Rock, Maine.
During the summer break of 1974, she makes a point of running up the 305-step cliffside stairs all the way up to the top every day, bent on losing weight.
One day, on the top of the stairs, where the Castle View Recreational Park is, she had an encounter with this stranger in dark clothes and a black hat.
The man offers to give her the box in the title. Even though at first Gwendy tries to decline, she finally accepts the mysterious box and from that moment on, Gwendy's life begins to change entirely. 
Q: Gwendy Peterson is a twelve-year-old girl who lives with her parents in Castle Rock, Maine.
During the summer break of 1974, she makes a point of running up the 305-step cliffside stairs all the way up to the top every day, bent on losing her weight. sembra naturale?
A: × Gwendy Peterson is a twelve-year-old girl who lives with her parents in Castle Rock, Maine.
Gwendy Peterson is a twelve-year-old girl who lived with her parents in Castle Rock, Maine.

× During the summer break of 1974, she makes a point of running up the 305-step cliffside stairs all the way up to the top every day, bent on losing her weight.
✓ During the summer break of 1974, she made a point of running up the 305-step cliffside stairs all the way up to the top every day, bent on losing weight.

This is really good. The only correction I made was to change the tense of the verbs to the past, since it was stated that she did this action in 1974. However, if this is a story that takes place in 1974, the use of the present tense would be acceptable.

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