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Q: Come si dice in Inglese (Stati Uniti)? 국내여행 할 때도 비행기를 타긴 하는데, 제주도(Jeju Island) 갈 때 말고는 보통 다른 교통수단을 이용해.
A: Some people take domestic flights to travel within the country. But, other than to go to the Jeju Island, most people would rather take other means of transportation.

질문자께서 쓰신 것과 크게 다르지 않네요 :)

저는 문장을 나누어서 run on sentence를 피하는 쪽을 추천드려요!

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Q: 🏝Day 2 in Jeju Island

I bough the book about Jeju Oreum.
Oreum is the rising small defunct volcano in Jeju Island. There are about 360 Oreums in Jeju Island but there are about 60 of all where people can go hiking. I try to go there as many as possible in this trip so I also bought the stamp. After I have been there, I will stamp on the Oreum map like this photo. sembra naturale?
A: × I bough the book about Jeju Oreum.
✓ I bought a book about Jeju Oreum.

× Oreum is the rising small defunct volcano in Jeju Island.
✓ An Oreum is a small, rising but dormant volcano on Jeju Island. (haha after I changed this sentence, I saw the Wikipedia sentence that uses "defunct".)

× There are about 360 Oreums in Jeju Island but there are about 60 of all where people can go hiking.
✓ There are about 360 Oreums on Jeju Island, but only about 60 are accessible for hiking.

× I try to go there as many as possible in this trip so I also bought the stamp.
✓ I tried to go to as many as possible on this trip, so I also bought an Oreum stamp.

× After I have been there, I will stamp on the Oreum map like this photo.
✓ After I have been to each Oreum, I put a stamp on my Oreum map like in this photo.

Interesting...I had never heard of these.
Q: I am planning to stay in Jeju Island from May for two months so I have been thinking about studying English there for a long time. But I decided to focus my family and my trip. I’m so sorry. So I can vedio call to you until this month. But I will keep using HelloTalk, sometimes we will talk through it. And after Jun, If you are available, how about we will study agian? sembra naturale?
A: × I am planning to stay in Jeju Island from May for two months so I have been thinking about studying English there for a long time.
✓ I am planning to stay on Jeju Island in May for two months, so I have been thinking about studying English there for a long time.

× But I decided to focus my family and my trip.
✓ But I decided to focus on my family and the trip.

× So I can vedio call to you until this month.
✓ I couldn’t video call to you until this month.

× And after Jun, If you are available, how about we will study agian?
✓ And after June If you are available, how about we will study agian?

Q: Jeju Island does not have a developed transportation.
or it has not developed transportation. sembra naturale?
A: It depends. Saying "It has not developed transportation" means that it doesn't have any transportation. However, saying "It doesn't have a developed transportation" I would think that it has transportations, it's just not as advanced and efficient as transportation somewhere else.
Q: Traveling to the Jeju Island during the Korean traditional holidays is bound to crowded with tourists. It cost more than travlieng weekdays. sembra naturale?
A: “Bound to BE crowded” is the only change that needs to be made. 😊
Q: I think Jeju is quite cold in the winter. Although it may be nothing compared to the usual continental cold, I can’t say it’s mild. sembra naturale?
A: "I think Jeju's quite cold in the winter. It may be nothing compared to the continental cold, I can't say it's mild."

"Continental cold" is a really weird phrase. Which continent are you referring to here? When it's said like that, it makes me think of Europe.

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