Question
Aggiornato il
30 mar 2021
- Vietnamita
-
Tedesco
-
Inglese (Stati Uniti)
-
Inglese (Regno Unito)
Domande Inglese (Regno Unito)
Please help me to polish up my essay?
Please help me to polish up my essay?
Risposte
Leggi ulteriori commenti
- Inglese (Regno Unito)
I’ve made some alterations as sometimes your expression lacks but, your vocabulary and punctuation is great. Hope this helps!
These days, a large number of people are starting to raise concerns over the violent actions being portrayed in films (and how countries are gong to deal with the affects) - *not sure if this is what you meant but what you originally wrote is unclear so i’d either omit or alter it - . The ever-increasing violence is affecting individuals behaviour and leading to a rise in social problems. Given that there are some obvious driving forces behind this phenomenon, the severity of this problem can be lessened.
There are some compelling reasons film violence is having a detrimental impact on individual’s well being’s as well as as society. (The most apparent evidence is that criminality is likely to increase when consuming such content) - *I wasn’t quite sure what you meant by this so it could probably be expressed/explained better - . By consuming violent scenes, people have become more aggressive and are experiencing greater desires to act lawlessly. Individuals are now even beginning to act illicitly with others and are being exposed to actual delinquents leading to them being lured into committing crimes. Secondly, this phenomenon can also be attributed to the impairment of children’s mental health. There is no denying that children are vulnerable to being influenced by violent content. They are obsessed by the thrilling actions of fighting, chasing and killing people. By allowing children to watch this we are failing to teach them that these behaviours are illegal.
On the question of addressing the problem, both the government and families should work to intervene together. On a government level, they should attempt to censor all films released to the public especially those aimed at adolescents and children. For example, the violent scenes should be eliminated from superhero movies so children can continue to watch them without creating anxieties for their parents. On a family level, parents should spend more time observing and restricting their children from watching such harmful content. They also need to encourage their children to play sport and engage in extracurricular activities.
To recapitulate, violent content in films result in two disastrous outcomes: increased crime rates and deteriorating mental health. However, combating this is possible so long as both the government and families take concerted efforts to do so.
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- Vietnamita
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