I wrote my opinion about "Women First Person"
Can you help me correct it?

'I think that women do not have much to do with gender equality that they use the first person “boku”. So I disagree with this opinion. I have two reasons to support my opinion.
First, I think that it is a kind of concealment that a woman calls herself “boku”. I think that it seems that there is a person with a personality different from myself by calling myself “boku”.
Second, when becoming a social worker, men and women call themselves “watashi”. This is a natural rule of society, which is a rule of gender equality. So I think that it is free to call myself “boku” before women go into society.
From the above, I think that what a woman calls herself “boku” has nothing to do with gender equality.'

Question

I wrote my opinion about "Women First Person"
Can you help me correct it?

'I think that women do not have much to do with gender equality that they use the first person “boku”. So I disagree with this opinion. I have two reasons to support my opinion.
First, I think that it is a kind of concealment that a woman calls herself “boku”. I think that it seems that there is a person with a personality different from myself by calling myself “boku”.
Second, when becoming a social worker, men and women call themselves “watashi”. This is a natural rule of society, which is a rule of gender equality. So I think that it is free to call myself “boku” before women go into society.
From the above, I think that what a woman calls herself “boku” has nothing to do with gender equality.'

Goheezy · Answer

Hi, I put what I felt needed to be corrected in caps, I really hope this helps 👍

I think that women do not have much to do with gender equality TO THE POINT WHERE they CAN use the first person “boku”. So I disagree with this opinion. I have two reasons to support my opinion.
First, I think that it is a kind of concealment WHEN a woman calls herself “boku”. I think that it seems AS THOUGH there is a person with a personality different from myself by calling myself “boku”.
Second, when becoming a social worker, men and women call themselves “watashi”. This is a natural rule of society, which is a rule of gender equality. So, I think that IT’S OK to call myself “boku” before women go into society.
From the above, I think that WHEN a woman calls herself “boku” IT has nothing to do with gender equality.'