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yui-eng
11 set 2016

  • Giapponese
  • Inglese (Stati Uniti)
Domanda chiusa
Domande Inglese (Stati Uniti)

Could you help me to correct my introduction of HiNative.
Thanks!


Hi, I'm Yui, live in Tokyo, Japan.
I was in Boston, US, when I was 10 to 12 years old.

When I was in US, I was shy a boy and hated to study English.
Now I'm 30 years old and working at a maker as a sale planner.
English is very important skill to advance my job.
Therefore, I decided to learn English again.

Also, I hope English helps me enjoy my hobby, like watching movies and reading SF more.

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TheWitchNextDoor
11 set 2016

  • Inglese (Stati Uniti)

For the sentence about living in Boston, it might be better to say "I lived in Boston for 2 years when I was younger."

I do have a few questions: What is a maker? And just to verify, is SF Sci-Fi (Science Fiction)?

mhyland
12 set 2016

  • Inglese (Stati Uniti)

Hi, I'm Yui. I live in Tokyo, Japan.
I lived in Boston, US, when I was 10 to 12 years old.

When I was in the US, I was a shy boy and hated to study English.
Now I'm 30 years old and work at a maker as a sales planner.

English is a very important skill to have to excel at my job.

Therefore, I decided to learn English again.

Also, I hope English helps me enjoy my hobbies, like watching movies and reading SF more.

brenton
12 set 2016

  • Inglese (Stati Uniti)

Instead of saying "shy boy" you should say "I was quite shy" or "l was a bit shy". That way you will sound more natural. Also, it's better to say Sci-Fi instead of SF.

Chris301
12 set 2016

  • Inglese (Stati Uniti)

could you please help me correct my introduction on HiNative. thanks!

Hi, I'm Yui. I live in Tokyo. I lived in Boston from when I was 10 to 12.

when I was in the US, I was shy and hated studying English. now I'm 30 and working at a maker as a sales planner (not sure what those are!). English is a very important skill for advancement at my job, so I've decided to learn English again.

Utente esperto
JessChickenWang
12 set 2016

  • Inglese (Stati Uniti)
  • Cinese semplificato (Mandarino) Quasi esperto

Hi, I'm Yui. I live in Tokyo, Japan. I lived in Boston, (which state? Massachusetts?) US, when I was 10 to 12 years old. (This is fine, but you can also say "When I was 10 to 12 years old, I lived in Boston, US.")

When I was in the US, I was shy a boy and hated studying English.

Now I'm 30 years old and working at a maker (do you mean market?) as a sale planner. (I'm a bit confused at your job. Do you mean market sale's planner or a market salesman?)

English is a very important skill to advance in my job.
Therefore, I decided to learn English again.

Also, I hope English helps me enjoy my hobbies more, like watching movies and reading SF. (You can say "SF" however most people refer to it as "Sci-Fi", but I think most people will understand what you mean by "SF")

seyrahz
12 set 2016

  • Inglese (Stati Uniti)

By "maker"...do you mean manufacturer?

mariamch
12 set 2016

  • Georgiano

Hi, I'm Yui. I live in Tokyo, Japan.
I used to live in Boston,US when I was younger.

During my years in US I was very reserved and shy person. I also didn't like styding English.
Now I'm 30 years old and I work at a market (?) as a sale planner.
It is very important because of my job to speak advanced English well, therefore, I decided to learn English again.

Also, I hope English helps me enjoy my hobbies: watching movies and reading more sci-fi books.

kuta_hello
12 set 2016

  • Giapponese

I guess "maker" refers to "manufacturing company", because they "make" products.😌

AustinLee223
12 set 2016

  • Inglese (Stati Uniti)

@yui-eng: the most professional example so far is the one by @SCDP: I would focus on that one but continue to improve it.

S4mW4lters
12 set 2016

  • Inglese (Stati Uniti)

"I was a shy boy"

yui-eng
14 set 2016

  • Giapponese
Thanks for your reply, everyone.
and sorry for late reply.

I realized my mistake. The words "Maker" and "SF" are Japanese English.
What I wanted to say are "Manufacturer" and "Sci-Fi".

I'll correct my sentence and post my introduction.
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Could you help me to correct my introduction of HiNative. Thanks! Hi, I'm Yui, live in Tokyo, Japan. I was in Boston, US, when I was 10 to 12 years old. When I was in US, I was shy a boy and hated to study English. Now I'm 30 years old and working at a maker as a sale planner. English is very important skill to advance my job. Therefore, I decided to learn English again. Also, I hope English helps me enjoy my hobby, like watching movies and reading SF more.
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